As I pondered that part of it....my heart ached....it's kinda depressing thinking about that, really. But, I realized that so much was said, about that, although no words were spoken or documented. I get it. I mean really, what can you possibly say to that? It was what it was as awful as it was, she knew it was God's will for her son. She knew her son's purpose, but she was still his Mother. That says a lot.....
Mary, God's chosen mother, thank you for being you. As a mom, you're someone we all can look to for encouragement. You trusted and obeyed God in your moments of pain and suffering.
Anyways, I took a break, ate lunch, then went back out to finish watering the plants. My mind began racing again.....I thought about my Mom, Michael's Mom, me as a Mom, people that have lost their Mom's, people that grew up without a Mom, or had an absent Mom, people that are longing to be a Mom but it just hasn't happened yet, people that can never be a Mom, Mom's that have suffered loss. The list really could just go on and on. I felt overwhelmed with appreciation, joy, memories and yet felt heavy hearted for so many that will have trouble celebrating and finding joy in this day. It was so heavy that I began to weep and pray.....Lord, comfort your daughters, restore back to them joy in their lives, hearts, mind and souls.
I wiped away the tears and I looked over and saw my 2 beautiful little girls playing in the sandbox. All of those thoughts just faded away and I stood there in awe feeling so incredibly blessed. For me, there hasn't been a more fullfulling calling than that of being a Mom. I'm so grateful that God chose and intrusted me to be a Mom to my girls! I love them so much!
Miss Katelyn Paige, our almost 6 year old, made me a Mommy for the 1st time on June 11, 2006. She was 9 lbs 9 oz. She was due on the 14th and I was set to be induced on the 12th, BUT I went into labor with her at a friends wedding (lol!) the Saturday before. This is where my mom embarrassingly told our Pastor, that I had lost my mucus plug that morning and was in labor. Really? Who says that to your Pastor at a wedding? OH, I know who! My excited to be a 1st time Grandma, Mom says that! Lol!
Katelyn-2 days old
Kateyn 4 mths old
Anyways, Three out of 4 of my Dad's sisters weren't able to have children, so the fear of that was in the back of my mind when conceiving Katelyn. It took almost 8 months. Before that, I actually never imagined the possibility of me never being able to have kids. What an overwhelming thought. My heart aches for women going through that.
Personally, I always felt and invisioned me being a Mom, like it's what I was supposed to do. God is so graciously good! His timing is always the right timing too! Thankfully my sisters and I were all able to bear children! :)
Katelyn 9 mths old at Church
There was a season of loss at our church at the time. Several ladies had just gone through miscarriages. The enemy was coming against our congregation. I remember Pastor Jack one service had all the young ladies come to the front and the chruch prayed over each lady. Pastor was binding, loosing and was on fire ready to wage spiritual warfare on our behalf! I don't recall his exact words, but he prayed for life and health to be established and protected while in the womb of every woman that was seeking to become pregnant either now or in the future. It was amazing. I'm here to tell ya, within 10 months there were 9 babies born in the church! Katelyn was one of them, my nieces, Addison and Jadyn, were 2 and 3 of the nine babies born! Isn't God so good?! :)
One of Katelyn's 1 year pics!
Katelyn brought us so much Joy, but for me especially. For the first time I really understood God's unwavering love for me. The way I loved her made me understand in a whole new light how God truly loves me. Ah, such a gift and that is such loaded statement in and of itself!
Kate is almost 2. This is an Easter pic of Addie and Kate being silly!
We were always together, and I hardly went anywhere without her. As she got older, I learned to let go a bit, as that was healthy for the both of us. The first night that she stayed away from Mom and Dad was when we were to go to the hosiptal to have Madelyn. Kate was 3 years old when Maddie
was born.
Katelyn almost 2 1/2 years old. She was a ladybug for Halloween
March 2009- Kate got a new big girl bed. I was pregnant with Maddie at the time so we were getting the baby room ready for her. We loved to get/ give kisses!
Katelyn- 3years old
listening to little sister
Madelyn took about 8 months to conceive as well. But, again...it was all in God's timing. Heather, my sister, sure is thankful! ;) I was able to watch Miss Pate for her!
9 mths pregnant with Maddie
June has always been a crazy busy month for us between family bdays, Father's day, and the big one----Firework season--- that we've been apart of since 1998. Michael headed it up for a few years before our church merged with Destiny in 2010. Needless to say, we needed a break and layed low when firework season came around. We actually got to go out of town for the 4th of July.... 2 years in a row! It was nice! I wonder what we are gonna do this 4th?!
So, I became a Mommy again to Miss Madelyn Claire on June 17, 2009. I had such a great pregnancy with her! As opposed to gaining 55 lbs with Katelyn, I only gained 28 with Maddie. I loved being pregnant with both of them, but I felt prettier with Maddie b'c my face wasn't so fat with her and I didn't have really bad cankles and sausage toes! LOL!
Precious!
I have to say, it was so hard to imagine how I could love another baby as much as I loved Katelyn, but it's completely possible. I'm so in love with both of them!! It's hard to explain... It's like a love that is so deep and so strong yet so equal to where you couldn't imagine life without them in it.
Madelyn- 1 day old
She didn't crawl and walk as fast as Kate did, which I liked! I wanted her to stay a baby for as long as possible. She still walked before she was one year old. We noticed her onery personality starting to shine through around 15 to 18mths. She is so cute and is also a hoot! It was really hard not to laugh when we'd get onto her! She would purposely do things to annoy Kate, then laugh about it. lol. I guess that's what little sisters are for, right? ;) She wasn't overly sensitive like Katelyn, so spanking with her wasn't as near as dramatic as it was for Katelyn. lol! It's hard to say that as I look at these precious pictures of my little angel baby! She was nicknamed by my sister, "angelica", "angels, wings and halo!" lol! Really, she was!
Maddie- 3 weeks old
Madelyn 1 years old
She's so sweet and constantly keeps us laughing and on our toes!! Madelyn, you have also brought Mama and Daddy so much joy!
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Maddie on her 2nd bday
Some of our adventures as a Family!
Ahh....motherhood! I love it...we have so many great memories! I could go on and on...so I'll just stop here. I do want to share a few more thoughts before I go:
1) Abigial Hope, Mama loves you! You made me a mother for the 3rd time and for that I am grateful. Although your not with us now, I look forward to the day where we'll all be reunited in heaven some day. (She was due May 4, 2012.... To think I would be sitting here rocking her in my arms, instead of typing this........yea, it's sad but I'm okay. I'm looking forward to becoming a mom for the 4th time someday!)
2) I am so blessed to have my Mom and Mother in law alive and well!! They are such a blessing to Michael, Me and the girls. We love them dearly. I couldn't imagine life without my Mom and I know Michael feels the same about his. We don't want to imagine it! :)
It's funny, we always thought Jesus was gonna come back before we had a chance to get married and have kids of our own! Lol! I think every generation thinks that at some point!
It's neat for us...having grandkids for our parents. It interesting how differenet they are with their
grandkids than how they were with us as kids! ;)
3) To all the Mom's out there, mine included... I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day! You are all fearfully and wonderfully made! You are what makes a house a home and a world a sweeter place! No one could ever take your place! Thank you for your love, support, encouragement, taxicab service (lol), credit cards ;) , long night talks, being there without hesitation when we needed you, prayers, patience , longsuffering, and tender care that has been shown. It doesn't go un-noticed and you are a true Hero! (Proverbs 31:10) -Your worth is far more precious than rubies! I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing day filled with people you love!
4) To Michael, Kate and Maddie: I love you all dearly! You make my life so much sweeter and I look forward to all of our adventures together! Thanks for making my "job" easy-being your Mama/wife!