While I was doing the dishes tonight, Kate comes up to me and says, "Mom...I want to fly, how come this isn't working? (she was flapping her arms)." I got tickled and wasn't sure what to say. She was in imagination mode, or so I thought.
So I said, "well, Kate...flap harder sister!" (lol)
Kate: "I am!! See look, I am doing it super fast and nothing is happening!"
Me: "well, baby you're a little girl not a bird...How 'bout you run around and pretend to fly?!"
Kate: "well, how come Chloe can fly?"
Me: "Baby, Chloe can't fly."
Kate: "uh, huh!! I saw her!!"
Me: "oh really?"
Kate; "OH, but it's a secret...we can only do that when you aren't home" ( LOL! )
Me; (my interest has peaked) "What do you mean Kate?"
Kate: "Well, Daddy makes her fly but only does it when your not here."
Me: (hmm...not sure what to say about that!)
Kate: "He throws her on the bed and she flys in the air!" "He does it to Me and Maddie too, but it's a secret!"
Me: (I am giggling) Kate, it isn't a secret if you tell it. Besides you girls have done that while I was here...so it isn't a big secret silly girl."
Daddy was asleep so he wasn't able to defend himself....either way! :) I'm curious, so I'll have to ask him about this little story. Kate's imagination and understanding of what a secret is, has been pretty amusing tonight! lol!
The girls have finally calmed down, yes at 12:30am. They've been running all over the house "flying" like little birdies. Kate was the mommy and Maddie was the baby bird. They were making nests and eating worms! (aka noodles) Lol! Ahhh, I love my kids!
Katelyn sure is enjoying Christmas break and Maddie is enjoying having her sister home all day with her! Who needs all these brand new toys when you can fly like a bird?!? ;)
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Our Abigail Hope
Hi everyone. I know, it's been awhile, but here I am. It's been a very hard month for me. Actually, it's been quite awful, exhausting, heartbreaking- a roller coaster of emotions-if I am being completely honest. The last time I blogged on here, ironically was the 1st time I blogged about our baby. At that time, I didn't know that I was in fact miscarrying. Miscarrying the baby I was so excited and joyous blogging about. I thought I had waited long enough to share the good news with everyone, but I've learned that bad things can happen at any point in a pregnancy-not just in the first 13 weeks. I don't mean to be/sound depressing to anyone. But this situation has been my reality. To those of you that have been praying, hurting, and worrying for me...loving me along the way-Thank you! I love you dearly! I'm blogging for you. and for me- it's my journal time..very therapeutic for me to write about it.
Unfortunately, I am joining thousands of other women who have experienced similar heartache. Every story is different, but unless you've been there ....there really isn't anything I can say or put into words to fully describe to you what I've been going through the past few weeks. It's been physically and emotionally exhausting. Although I know that I am not alone in this, part of the feeling is that...being totally alone.
I've had such great support from family and friends. (I appreciate your thoughts and prayers, more than you all know!)
There has been a very special person that has been so great to me throughout all of this. She really gets it and gets me. She has been there- listening, encouraging, very supportive, and was very vulnerable with me while she shared her story. For the 1st time throughout this whole ordeal-I didn't feel alone. She was so helpful and did all of this without any motive, but simply out of love. She ministered to my pain. All without coming across like she was "ministering" to me. We barely knew each other before, but we are bonded sisters for life now. She has been a gift from God to me!
There were times that I was so confused, hurt, and almost angry. I believed for my miracle, stepped out in faith and what I prayed for didn't happen. That was hard. I tried to tell myself that God and I were complete galaxies apart...... But we weren't. He's been with me every step of the way. I was never alone. I know God understands and He's in control. His will is my desire, even if it hurts. I don't blame Him, or anyone for that matter. I tried to blame myself, but I couldn't actually be convincing with that. I know it wasn't my fault. I did search for an answer, not realizing at the time that's what I was doing.
I have to say, all the internet searching for probable causes was just pointless. It only hurt me more. It didn't change what happened and honestly, there is no answer that would be sufficient enough, to me, as to why my baby didn't make it. :( It still hurts.....
For those of you who may not know the full story. And have wondered what I've been doing/how've been......Here it goes with as much detail as I can remember....(it's rather lengthy)
November 2nd, 2011
I found out at 13 weeks 5 days that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. Doctor said that it happened very recent. The ultrasound also showed swelling on the baby's head and neck, which suggested that it could be due to Turner Syndrome.
This was a routine visit, so I went to the appt. alone with Maddie. I had just been in there at 9 1/2 weeks and again at 11 weeks for blood work. I saw and heard the heartbeat . This day shouldn't be any different, right? No, not right. I was in complete shock when my doctor gave me the news. Shaking, with tears filling my eyes, I was in dis-belief. I asked if she was sure. She said yes and then called in another doctor for a second opinion. I start sobbing uncontrollably. I heard what they were saying but my head was spinning, it was all muffled and I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. My doctor told me she was so sorry. She gave me my options. Seeing how shocked I was, she hugged me and said-"you don't have to make a decision today, go on home...you don't need to be here, right now." I asked her if I could come back in a few days and re-check. She said, "yes. How about you come in on Friday (2 days) for another ultrasound." I left not realizing at the time that I completely ignored the check out nurse on the way out.
I had no idea what to do from that point on. I was frozen, tears running down my face. just standing there in front of the elevator, not sure what button to push. Maddie started hitting my leg and with a worried look on her face she said, "Mommy, are you okay?" I snapped back when I heard her sweet voice and just hugged her-all the way down the elevator. We get off, start to head to the car. In the meantime I called Michael. How was I supposed to drive home in the shape I was in? As soon as he heard me, not knowing what was wrong yet...he immediately left work and said, "I'm coming home." I told him I wasn't home, that I was in the truck. He kept asking what was wrong, if I was okay and if he needed to come get me. He tried to keep me calm on the phone. I didn't want to tell him, especially over the phone, but I needed him and I couldn't keep him guessing. I began to tell him as much as I could -to where he could understand me. He got the jist and said, "babe, focus on driving home and we'll talk about that when I get home." Maddie fell asleep on the way, thankfully.
We got off the phone and I began crying and talking to God. I told God how confused I was. I asked him, "why did you allow me to get pregnant so fast and so unexpectedly if this baby wasn't meant to make it in the long run? It took us close to 8 mths to get pregnant with Kate and Maddie. So I know this baby was meant to be!" "God, if your testing my faith...then i believe you can heal my baby." I started pleaded for Him to heal my baby. Then a peace came over me and I told Him, "God, whatever happens, I trust you." (The holy spirit must've been praying that through me b'c the spirit knew what was to come.) I was surprised how that came out in prayer.
I got home, laid in a fetal position on the bed, just moaning. Shortly after, Michael got home. He came in the bedroom and held me. He cried with me and stayed there until I fell asleep. After a few hours, and a major headache later...I decided to eat something. I had not eaten all day. So he went to Braums and got me food and an ice cream. I also asked if he would go by the movie store and get an action or comedy movie that I could watch-To keep my mind off of things. He came back, brought a tray of food to the bedroom and had an overwhelmed look on his face. I looked up as he laid a huge bag of movies on the bed. As he sat them down, they literally fell out of the bag. He said, "Babe, I had no idea what to get." I smiled and said, "I see that." We shared a giggle and a long tearful stare. I fell in love all over again. He got over 20 movies, when I asked for one. Haha! It took me over a week to watch all of them! I was grateful for that.
November 3rd, 2011
The next day Michael had to go to work. I couldn't help but relive the day before the moment I woke up. I was devastated, helpless and hopeless all over again. So I got online and asked family and friends to pray with us for a miracle. I was overwhelmed with the response I received. I knew I'd be going back 2 days later for an ultrasound to confirm and wanted to have prayer warriors interceding on our behalf. I know that God is able to do the impossible! I was reminded of miracle after miracle that he performed. After that, my faith was high and I really began believing for my miracle. I opened my bible to Psalms. The passage was talking about how he did not die but lived. I don't remember the verse off the top of my head, but I just opened up to it. I thought it was a sign and the scriptures around it were very fitting. Michael's Mom and Dad came by that night, and visited with us. We all held hands as a family-praying and believing for a miracle to take place. Later that night, I laid that group of scriptures on my belly... praying and cried myself to sleep.
November 4th, 2011I woke up Friday morning very anxious, and nervous. I completely had my hopes up for a good report, yet at the same time I felt an inner peace. Michael had taken off work, Maddie spent the day with Nana Burger, and Katelyn was off to school. On the way to my doctor's office, Michael said he felt peace. We prayed, and he told God that we trusted Him. That got my attention and it brought back to me what I had prayed the Wednesday before, so I shared that with Him. We were somber and quiet most of the way there. By the time we got there, we were immediately seen. I think my doctor could tell that I had my hopes up, so she got right to the ultrasound.....I told her we were believing for a miracle. She was hoping the same for me and was heartbroken to tell me that the news wasn't any different. There was still no heartbeat. I asked about the swelling again and she wasn't sure if there was swelling there or not. But there was maybe some small areas?! I asked her to measure the baby....she said the baby stopped growing between 12-13 weeks. According to that, I lost the baby a week or two prior. I asked for ultrasound pictures. Heartbroken all over again- It all came crashing down. What she had to say went in one ear and out the other b'c none of that information told me my baby was alive. Thankfully Michael was with me this time and obtained most of what she said. My doctor began to tell us our options. I didn't want to make any decision at that time. She was completely supportive of me not wanting to make any decision and said that it was safe for me to miscarry at home if that is what I wanted to do. She did tell Michael to keep watch of me b'c it could happen at any time, or it could take days or weeks. She told us what to expect, when to take me to the emergency room, etc. All that scary stuff. She then prescribed me some medicine to control the bleeding and some pain pills to keep me comfortable in case the process started over the weekend. We left the doctor's office and I immediately wanted to go home. Especially after hearing all of that. I didn't want to be in public, be around anyone period. I didn't want the risk of people asking how far pregnant I was/what I am having/ when I am due. I had all of this weighing on my mind. Michael insisted on taking me to lunch...although feeling this way, I agreed to go for his sake. I'm glad we went. We had a nice day together. I kept my big sweater on as to not draw attention to my belly and also in hopes that no one would ask me questions. Thankfully, that day, no one did.
We went to eat at one of my favorite places-PF Changs. I have to say, it was the 1st time that I couldn't fully enjoy it. After a couple of small meltdowns, I made it through lunch. When they gave us our check we also got a fortune cookie. Mine read- "Kindness will follow you in the months ahead." (okay, insert sobbing here) and Michael's simply read, "Daughter." We both started crying. The Lord was with us then. Five minutes before we were talking about heaven...and that one day we'd see our baby there. Fully healthy, happy and whole. We wondered what that baby was gonna be. We were to find out by Thanksgiving if it was a boy or girl. We thought maybe it might have been easier to not know....then wondered if the baby really had Turner Syndrome. If so, then the baby would have been a girl. We talked about if we should name the baby and if so, what name? Michael mentioned Abigail for a girl. No sooner did he say that, he opened up that fortune cookie that read, "Daughter." We had to leave the restaurant fast b'c we were both crying. Later on I looked up the name Abigail and it means- the Father's love. A few weeks later, after thinking about it and reflecting back to this moment, we accepted that our baby was a girl and we named her Abigail Hope Burger.
After losing it at the restaurant, I welcomed a shopping distraction. After all, we were at Utica Square. We ended up leaving there shortly after walking around and went to Toys R Us. We got our girls a few Christmas presents while there was a sale going on. After a couple of hours, I was ready to go home. It seemed like everywhere I looked there were babies, baby stuff, or pregnant women. Later that night we told Katelyn and Madelyn that our baby went to heaven. That wasn't easy to do to say the least. I started to tell them and got choked up so bad, so Michael took over. Katelyn took it really hard. It was pitiful :(
He did so good relaying everything to them, in a way they could understand w/o saying too much. He ended up making her laugh, which made us all laugh. That really meant alot. It was hard on me, seeing him/hearing him confess it out loud, that we lost our baby. Up to this point he had been the strong one. At that moment, I saw him, for the 1st time, break down and grieve over our baby. We spent the evening taking pictures of my belly. (I hadn't taken a picture of it since I was 9 or so weeks...) My mom brought over dinner later that evening and we crawled up in our bed to watch Cars 2.
November 5th-12th, 2011
From this point on, life was pretty un-eventful. I spent the 1st week laying around, sleeping in my bed. Just waiting for the inevitable to happen doing absolutely nothing. I only got up when I had too. Nothing happened-not the 1st sign of miscarriage. Confused, I began researching on the internet. I came across this website that has story after story of misdiagnosed miscarriage. Truly amazing stories! I really started to believe that this could be me too; that my miscarriage was misdiagnosed and that I was still pregnant, and that my baby was okay, and that the ultrasound I saw was wrong.
This entire time I didn't leave the house, didn't want to be around anyone, and wanted my family close to me at all times. Michael pretty much made me get out of the house a few times and I am glad he did that. I was able to pick up my pictures from Walmart that I ordered online and grabbed some scrapbooking stuff at Hobby Lobby while I was out. I then started scrapbooking our Disneyworld trip and other family events. Something I've been needing/wanting to do. It was very therapeutic for me, and brought back some great happy family memories. I became so thankful and grateful for my girls all over again. Not that I wasn't before, but I gained a brand new perspective of how precious life is and what a miracle they are to be here with me, right now. I asked God to forgive me for taking them for granted at times. For taking the preciousness of life for granted.
Scrapbooking took me about a week, and when that was done I had Michael go ahead and pull out our Christmas decorations. Trying to be a busy bee, I started decorating for Christmas, early. That was nice. Christmas just puts ya in a good mood. Or it does me! :)
November 12-16th, 2011
Katelyn ended up sick with fever for 6 days. She missed 4 days of school. (14th-17th)
My busy bee-ness slowed down during this time. Then I slowly started to notice that I no longer felt pregnant anymore. My pregnancy symptoms were going away, which told me that my HCG levels were dropping and the process could be soon approaching. I was having cramping here and there, but it was so mild and sporadic I would brush it off or blame it on sitting on my rear end all day. My heart was starting to accept...... After Kate ended up sick, I started to get worried. Due to my condition, it wasn't safe for me to run a fever. It would pose a concern whether it was from her virus or not. At that point I called my doctor. The phone call I dreaded. This was Tuesday, Nov. 15th. I told her the situation. The nurse relayed everything to my doctor and they were still okay with me waiting it out. I was surprised. She just said that if I started to run a fever, that I need to come in immediately. I never ran any fever, thankfully! I made Kate a doctor's appt for Wednesday and Michael took her to that. They ended up telling us her sickness was only viral. She got better by Thursday, and was able to go back to school on Friday.
November 17th, 2011
Thursday evening was really rough for me. Got in an argument with Michael, I can't recall what it was about. Our emotions/nerves were spent. I couldn't sleep, and I was emotionally give out. Everyone was asleep except me-I was scared, worried about getting fever/sick, and felt that it could be taking too long for the process to start. That night laying in bed, I began grieving/ fully accepting what was happening. Heartwrenching. I was at my wits end on waiting it out and I realized that night that I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed closure.
November 18th, 2011
I called my doctor the next morning. (Friday the 18th) and told her how I was feeling. So we made an appt. and I went in that day around 11 am. I told her that I wanted one last ultrasound for re-assurance. At this point it had been 4 weeks since the baby stopped growing. I was 16 weeks pregnant with a 12-13 week old baby. I had the ultrasound- No heartbeat again. This time it showed the baby in a head down position, resting on top of my cervix. She said that it's really close to happening, however my cervix is completely closed up. For the release to happen, just like a normal delivery, your cervix has to be thinned out and open. I asked her how long she thought it could take for my cervix to thin out. She said it could happen immediately/in the next few hours or it could possibly take another week. She said there is a medicine I can give you to thin out your cervix/ and speed this up. She then asked if I still had my pain med's. I said,"yes, I haven't taken any yet." She told me what to expect and the risks/when to go to the emergency room. I asked her if I chickened out taking the med's was she okay with me waiting it out another week or calling in on Monday to have the procedure done. She of course said yes. (I have to say, I really love my doctor.) I got home, sat in the recliner and while rocking Maddie I began feeling the lower back cramps coming and going. Just like contractions, but not as bad. I called Michael told him what was happening and he came home. I told him what the doctor said/how the appt went. (I have to say, I have the best husband in the world!!! I love him so much!) He was completely supportive of what I was comfortable with doing. I decided to take the 1st pill around 3 pm as it would speed up what was already happening. It was the best decision, given the situation. It was the weekend. So Michael would be home with me and it wouldn't interfere with work or school. Kate was staying the night at her cousin's house. And if we needed someone for Maddie they were just a phone call away. A few hours went by and nothing really happened, just some more minor cramping. I began to wonder that it might not take place until the next day. We started watching Pirates of the Caribbean. The medicine had worn off by then. (i was due to take another one, but didn't) It must've done it's job or my body took over. It was all strangely very similar to labor. My water actually broke and everything. I'll spare the details. My body knew exactly what to do and the process went as smooth as possible. It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be. Possibly because I read enough to prepare myself, and I've gone through 2 other deliveries. I only took 1 of the strong painkillers-b'c I didn't like the side effects. The only other thing I took was 2 Tylenol. The pain wasn't unbearable, like I was afraid it would be. I delievered my baby at 8:55 pm and by 2 am everything had passed.
I know this isn't the popular choice-miscarrying at home, but it was my choice. It was what I wanted. And Michael was as proud as he could be given the situation. He was amazing thoroughout it all! I am so proud of him! As emotionally hard as it all was, I don't regret my decision. I wanted to be 100 % sure and have no doubt that my baby in fact didn't make it. I felt completely robbed of soooo much, at least I/we had this to share with our child. And as crazy as it sounds, the delivery that went as smoothly as it could have,without any dramatic emergency room moments was such a gift to me. It really helped me in my healing/closure process. Very tender, emotional moments for Michael and I. No doctors, no needles, no invasive surgery, just Him and I. God was there too. Maddie feel asleep early in the evening, and although Katelyn ended up calling us to come pick her up around midnight from my sisters house-she went right back to sleep too. That worked out nicely. They had no idea what was happening, and that's how we wanted it.
Anyways, Michael and I got to see our baby, as tiny as she was-there was nothing wrong with her. She was as she should be for her age. She laid and looked peaceful. We had our moments alone with her and buried her. We honored the life that was given and taken from us, the best way we knew how. I'm thankful for the short time that I had with her during this pregnancy. It was unlike my other 2 pregnancies from the beginnning...I won't ever forger our little angel. Abigail Hope is in heaven now and we'll get to see her again, someday. I love you baby girl, we all love you-Mommy, Daddy, Kate and Maddie <3
In closing, I pray for healing, peace, strength and comfort over myself and for every woman that has experienced this type of loss. We are not alone. God, thank you for being with us every step of the way. I felt your love and presence with me even when I wanted to think that you weren't there. I sorry I got angry. You embraced me and let me know that everything would be okay. Thank you for understanding, for sending people my way that have carried this heavy load with me. Your word says that Perfect love casts out all fear. So, Lord please pour your perfect love over my heart and wipe away all the fear and worry that I have about a future pregnancy.. In Jesus name, Amen.
P.S--Update 11/28/2011
It's taken me awhile to write all this....And I am finally ready to post it. (It's certainly easier than talking about it.) It's been a little over a week since it all happened. My feelings are still a bit raw, but I am doing much better. Michael is doing really good, so are the girls.
Since I've been getting out of the house more- I run into people.....and the questions have started.....<sigh> I know everyone means well and I honestly don't take much offense. So those of you that read this, I ask you to please bare with me and please, please use your filter.
If your wondering-Although as nervous and scared as this makes me for future pregnancies...we do want to have another baby, someday. Not sure when exactly, but hopefully soon.
Thank you all so much-for praying, listening, loving, and being there for us during this time!
Lots of love- Michele & Michael (and Kate and Maddie)
Unfortunately, I am joining thousands of other women who have experienced similar heartache. Every story is different, but unless you've been there ....there really isn't anything I can say or put into words to fully describe to you what I've been going through the past few weeks. It's been physically and emotionally exhausting. Although I know that I am not alone in this, part of the feeling is that...being totally alone.
I've had such great support from family and friends. (I appreciate your thoughts and prayers, more than you all know!)
There has been a very special person that has been so great to me throughout all of this. She really gets it and gets me. She has been there- listening, encouraging, very supportive, and was very vulnerable with me while she shared her story. For the 1st time throughout this whole ordeal-I didn't feel alone. She was so helpful and did all of this without any motive, but simply out of love. She ministered to my pain. All without coming across like she was "ministering" to me. We barely knew each other before, but we are bonded sisters for life now. She has been a gift from God to me!
There were times that I was so confused, hurt, and almost angry. I believed for my miracle, stepped out in faith and what I prayed for didn't happen. That was hard. I tried to tell myself that God and I were complete galaxies apart...... But we weren't. He's been with me every step of the way. I was never alone. I know God understands and He's in control. His will is my desire, even if it hurts. I don't blame Him, or anyone for that matter. I tried to blame myself, but I couldn't actually be convincing with that. I know it wasn't my fault. I did search for an answer, not realizing at the time that's what I was doing.
I have to say, all the internet searching for probable causes was just pointless. It only hurt me more. It didn't change what happened and honestly, there is no answer that would be sufficient enough, to me, as to why my baby didn't make it. :( It still hurts.....
For those of you who may not know the full story. And have wondered what I've been doing/how've been......Here it goes with as much detail as I can remember....(it's rather lengthy)
November 2nd, 2011
I found out at 13 weeks 5 days that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. Doctor said that it happened very recent. The ultrasound also showed swelling on the baby's head and neck, which suggested that it could be due to Turner Syndrome.
- Turner Syndrome is a chromosomal abnormality in which the baby is lacking a 46th chromosome in either an X or Y. All Turner Syndrome babies are born girls. Other than a few health issues, they can live normal, healthy lives. This diagnoses wasn't certain as there wasn't any further testing done. Given the time frame of when it happened, it was just a possible cause.
This was a routine visit, so I went to the appt. alone with Maddie. I had just been in there at 9 1/2 weeks and again at 11 weeks for blood work. I saw and heard the heartbeat . This day shouldn't be any different, right? No, not right. I was in complete shock when my doctor gave me the news. Shaking, with tears filling my eyes, I was in dis-belief. I asked if she was sure. She said yes and then called in another doctor for a second opinion. I start sobbing uncontrollably. I heard what they were saying but my head was spinning, it was all muffled and I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. My doctor told me she was so sorry. She gave me my options. Seeing how shocked I was, she hugged me and said-"you don't have to make a decision today, go on home...you don't need to be here, right now." I asked her if I could come back in a few days and re-check. She said, "yes. How about you come in on Friday (2 days) for another ultrasound." I left not realizing at the time that I completely ignored the check out nurse on the way out.
I had no idea what to do from that point on. I was frozen, tears running down my face. just standing there in front of the elevator, not sure what button to push. Maddie started hitting my leg and with a worried look on her face she said, "Mommy, are you okay?" I snapped back when I heard her sweet voice and just hugged her-all the way down the elevator. We get off, start to head to the car. In the meantime I called Michael. How was I supposed to drive home in the shape I was in? As soon as he heard me, not knowing what was wrong yet...he immediately left work and said, "I'm coming home." I told him I wasn't home, that I was in the truck. He kept asking what was wrong, if I was okay and if he needed to come get me. He tried to keep me calm on the phone. I didn't want to tell him, especially over the phone, but I needed him and I couldn't keep him guessing. I began to tell him as much as I could -to where he could understand me. He got the jist and said, "babe, focus on driving home and we'll talk about that when I get home." Maddie fell asleep on the way, thankfully.
We got off the phone and I began crying and talking to God. I told God how confused I was. I asked him, "why did you allow me to get pregnant so fast and so unexpectedly if this baby wasn't meant to make it in the long run? It took us close to 8 mths to get pregnant with Kate and Maddie. So I know this baby was meant to be!" "God, if your testing my faith...then i believe you can heal my baby." I started pleaded for Him to heal my baby. Then a peace came over me and I told Him, "God, whatever happens, I trust you." (The holy spirit must've been praying that through me b'c the spirit knew what was to come.) I was surprised how that came out in prayer.
I got home, laid in a fetal position on the bed, just moaning. Shortly after, Michael got home. He came in the bedroom and held me. He cried with me and stayed there until I fell asleep. After a few hours, and a major headache later...I decided to eat something. I had not eaten all day. So he went to Braums and got me food and an ice cream. I also asked if he would go by the movie store and get an action or comedy movie that I could watch-To keep my mind off of things. He came back, brought a tray of food to the bedroom and had an overwhelmed look on his face. I looked up as he laid a huge bag of movies on the bed. As he sat them down, they literally fell out of the bag. He said, "Babe, I had no idea what to get." I smiled and said, "I see that." We shared a giggle and a long tearful stare. I fell in love all over again. He got over 20 movies, when I asked for one. Haha! It took me over a week to watch all of them! I was grateful for that.
November 3rd, 2011
The next day Michael had to go to work. I couldn't help but relive the day before the moment I woke up. I was devastated, helpless and hopeless all over again. So I got online and asked family and friends to pray with us for a miracle. I was overwhelmed with the response I received. I knew I'd be going back 2 days later for an ultrasound to confirm and wanted to have prayer warriors interceding on our behalf. I know that God is able to do the impossible! I was reminded of miracle after miracle that he performed. After that, my faith was high and I really began believing for my miracle. I opened my bible to Psalms. The passage was talking about how he did not die but lived. I don't remember the verse off the top of my head, but I just opened up to it. I thought it was a sign and the scriptures around it were very fitting. Michael's Mom and Dad came by that night, and visited with us. We all held hands as a family-praying and believing for a miracle to take place. Later that night, I laid that group of scriptures on my belly... praying and cried myself to sleep.
November 4th, 2011I woke up Friday morning very anxious, and nervous. I completely had my hopes up for a good report, yet at the same time I felt an inner peace. Michael had taken off work, Maddie spent the day with Nana Burger, and Katelyn was off to school. On the way to my doctor's office, Michael said he felt peace. We prayed, and he told God that we trusted Him. That got my attention and it brought back to me what I had prayed the Wednesday before, so I shared that with Him. We were somber and quiet most of the way there. By the time we got there, we were immediately seen. I think my doctor could tell that I had my hopes up, so she got right to the ultrasound.....I told her we were believing for a miracle. She was hoping the same for me and was heartbroken to tell me that the news wasn't any different. There was still no heartbeat. I asked about the swelling again and she wasn't sure if there was swelling there or not. But there was maybe some small areas?! I asked her to measure the baby....she said the baby stopped growing between 12-13 weeks. According to that, I lost the baby a week or two prior. I asked for ultrasound pictures. Heartbroken all over again- It all came crashing down. What she had to say went in one ear and out the other b'c none of that information told me my baby was alive. Thankfully Michael was with me this time and obtained most of what she said. My doctor began to tell us our options. I didn't want to make any decision at that time. She was completely supportive of me not wanting to make any decision and said that it was safe for me to miscarry at home if that is what I wanted to do. She did tell Michael to keep watch of me b'c it could happen at any time, or it could take days or weeks. She told us what to expect, when to take me to the emergency room, etc. All that scary stuff. She then prescribed me some medicine to control the bleeding and some pain pills to keep me comfortable in case the process started over the weekend. We left the doctor's office and I immediately wanted to go home. Especially after hearing all of that. I didn't want to be in public, be around anyone period. I didn't want the risk of people asking how far pregnant I was/what I am having/ when I am due. I had all of this weighing on my mind. Michael insisted on taking me to lunch...although feeling this way, I agreed to go for his sake. I'm glad we went. We had a nice day together. I kept my big sweater on as to not draw attention to my belly and also in hopes that no one would ask me questions. Thankfully, that day, no one did.
We went to eat at one of my favorite places-PF Changs. I have to say, it was the 1st time that I couldn't fully enjoy it. After a couple of small meltdowns, I made it through lunch. When they gave us our check we also got a fortune cookie. Mine read- "Kindness will follow you in the months ahead." (okay, insert sobbing here) and Michael's simply read, "Daughter." We both started crying. The Lord was with us then. Five minutes before we were talking about heaven...and that one day we'd see our baby there. Fully healthy, happy and whole. We wondered what that baby was gonna be. We were to find out by Thanksgiving if it was a boy or girl. We thought maybe it might have been easier to not know....then wondered if the baby really had Turner Syndrome. If so, then the baby would have been a girl. We talked about if we should name the baby and if so, what name? Michael mentioned Abigail for a girl. No sooner did he say that, he opened up that fortune cookie that read, "Daughter." We had to leave the restaurant fast b'c we were both crying. Later on I looked up the name Abigail and it means- the Father's love. A few weeks later, after thinking about it and reflecting back to this moment, we accepted that our baby was a girl and we named her Abigail Hope Burger.
After losing it at the restaurant, I welcomed a shopping distraction. After all, we were at Utica Square. We ended up leaving there shortly after walking around and went to Toys R Us. We got our girls a few Christmas presents while there was a sale going on. After a couple of hours, I was ready to go home. It seemed like everywhere I looked there were babies, baby stuff, or pregnant women. Later that night we told Katelyn and Madelyn that our baby went to heaven. That wasn't easy to do to say the least. I started to tell them and got choked up so bad, so Michael took over. Katelyn took it really hard. It was pitiful :(
He did so good relaying everything to them, in a way they could understand w/o saying too much. He ended up making her laugh, which made us all laugh. That really meant alot. It was hard on me, seeing him/hearing him confess it out loud, that we lost our baby. Up to this point he had been the strong one. At that moment, I saw him, for the 1st time, break down and grieve over our baby. We spent the evening taking pictures of my belly. (I hadn't taken a picture of it since I was 9 or so weeks...) My mom brought over dinner later that evening and we crawled up in our bed to watch Cars 2.
November 5th-12th, 2011
From this point on, life was pretty un-eventful. I spent the 1st week laying around, sleeping in my bed. Just waiting for the inevitable to happen doing absolutely nothing. I only got up when I had too. Nothing happened-not the 1st sign of miscarriage. Confused, I began researching on the internet. I came across this website that has story after story of misdiagnosed miscarriage. Truly amazing stories! I really started to believe that this could be me too; that my miscarriage was misdiagnosed and that I was still pregnant, and that my baby was okay, and that the ultrasound I saw was wrong.
- This point, is when I believe I went into denial. My head pretty much accepted it, but my heart was no where near accepting it. I know what my doctor said, I know what I saw, but my body was telling me something completely different. It was all like a cruel joke, but it wasn't a joke at all. I was so confused. After researching it out, I realized that I was having what was called a missed miscarriage. I have never heard of that before! A missed miscarriage can take place without your body having any symptoms of a miscarriage. The only way you ever know is by an ultrasound. My body still thought I was pregnant. I felt pregnant, looked pregnant, I was pregnant, however, I was carrying my deceased baby.
This entire time I didn't leave the house, didn't want to be around anyone, and wanted my family close to me at all times. Michael pretty much made me get out of the house a few times and I am glad he did that. I was able to pick up my pictures from Walmart that I ordered online and grabbed some scrapbooking stuff at Hobby Lobby while I was out. I then started scrapbooking our Disneyworld trip and other family events. Something I've been needing/wanting to do. It was very therapeutic for me, and brought back some great happy family memories. I became so thankful and grateful for my girls all over again. Not that I wasn't before, but I gained a brand new perspective of how precious life is and what a miracle they are to be here with me, right now. I asked God to forgive me for taking them for granted at times. For taking the preciousness of life for granted.
Scrapbooking took me about a week, and when that was done I had Michael go ahead and pull out our Christmas decorations. Trying to be a busy bee, I started decorating for Christmas, early. That was nice. Christmas just puts ya in a good mood. Or it does me! :)
November 12-16th, 2011
Katelyn ended up sick with fever for 6 days. She missed 4 days of school. (14th-17th)
My busy bee-ness slowed down during this time. Then I slowly started to notice that I no longer felt pregnant anymore. My pregnancy symptoms were going away, which told me that my HCG levels were dropping and the process could be soon approaching. I was having cramping here and there, but it was so mild and sporadic I would brush it off or blame it on sitting on my rear end all day. My heart was starting to accept...... After Kate ended up sick, I started to get worried. Due to my condition, it wasn't safe for me to run a fever. It would pose a concern whether it was from her virus or not. At that point I called my doctor. The phone call I dreaded. This was Tuesday, Nov. 15th. I told her the situation. The nurse relayed everything to my doctor and they were still okay with me waiting it out. I was surprised. She just said that if I started to run a fever, that I need to come in immediately. I never ran any fever, thankfully! I made Kate a doctor's appt for Wednesday and Michael took her to that. They ended up telling us her sickness was only viral. She got better by Thursday, and was able to go back to school on Friday.
November 17th, 2011
Thursday evening was really rough for me. Got in an argument with Michael, I can't recall what it was about. Our emotions/nerves were spent. I couldn't sleep, and I was emotionally give out. Everyone was asleep except me-I was scared, worried about getting fever/sick, and felt that it could be taking too long for the process to start. That night laying in bed, I began grieving/ fully accepting what was happening. Heartwrenching. I was at my wits end on waiting it out and I realized that night that I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed closure.
November 18th, 2011
I called my doctor the next morning. (Friday the 18th) and told her how I was feeling. So we made an appt. and I went in that day around 11 am. I told her that I wanted one last ultrasound for re-assurance. At this point it had been 4 weeks since the baby stopped growing. I was 16 weeks pregnant with a 12-13 week old baby. I had the ultrasound- No heartbeat again. This time it showed the baby in a head down position, resting on top of my cervix. She said that it's really close to happening, however my cervix is completely closed up. For the release to happen, just like a normal delivery, your cervix has to be thinned out and open. I asked her how long she thought it could take for my cervix to thin out. She said it could happen immediately/in the next few hours or it could possibly take another week. She said there is a medicine I can give you to thin out your cervix/ and speed this up. She then asked if I still had my pain med's. I said,"yes, I haven't taken any yet." She told me what to expect and the risks/when to go to the emergency room. I asked her if I chickened out taking the med's was she okay with me waiting it out another week or calling in on Monday to have the procedure done. She of course said yes. (I have to say, I really love my doctor.) I got home, sat in the recliner and while rocking Maddie I began feeling the lower back cramps coming and going. Just like contractions, but not as bad. I called Michael told him what was happening and he came home. I told him what the doctor said/how the appt went. (I have to say, I have the best husband in the world!!! I love him so much!) He was completely supportive of what I was comfortable with doing. I decided to take the 1st pill around 3 pm as it would speed up what was already happening. It was the best decision, given the situation. It was the weekend. So Michael would be home with me and it wouldn't interfere with work or school. Kate was staying the night at her cousin's house. And if we needed someone for Maddie they were just a phone call away. A few hours went by and nothing really happened, just some more minor cramping. I began to wonder that it might not take place until the next day. We started watching Pirates of the Caribbean. The medicine had worn off by then. (i was due to take another one, but didn't) It must've done it's job or my body took over. It was all strangely very similar to labor. My water actually broke and everything. I'll spare the details. My body knew exactly what to do and the process went as smooth as possible. It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be. Possibly because I read enough to prepare myself, and I've gone through 2 other deliveries. I only took 1 of the strong painkillers-b'c I didn't like the side effects. The only other thing I took was 2 Tylenol. The pain wasn't unbearable, like I was afraid it would be. I delievered my baby at 8:55 pm and by 2 am everything had passed.
I know this isn't the popular choice-miscarrying at home, but it was my choice. It was what I wanted. And Michael was as proud as he could be given the situation. He was amazing thoroughout it all! I am so proud of him! As emotionally hard as it all was, I don't regret my decision. I wanted to be 100 % sure and have no doubt that my baby in fact didn't make it. I felt completely robbed of soooo much, at least I/we had this to share with our child. And as crazy as it sounds, the delivery that went as smoothly as it could have,without any dramatic emergency room moments was such a gift to me. It really helped me in my healing/closure process. Very tender, emotional moments for Michael and I. No doctors, no needles, no invasive surgery, just Him and I. God was there too. Maddie feel asleep early in the evening, and although Katelyn ended up calling us to come pick her up around midnight from my sisters house-she went right back to sleep too. That worked out nicely. They had no idea what was happening, and that's how we wanted it.
Anyways, Michael and I got to see our baby, as tiny as she was-there was nothing wrong with her. She was as she should be for her age. She laid and looked peaceful. We had our moments alone with her and buried her. We honored the life that was given and taken from us, the best way we knew how. I'm thankful for the short time that I had with her during this pregnancy. It was unlike my other 2 pregnancies from the beginnning...I won't ever forger our little angel. Abigail Hope is in heaven now and we'll get to see her again, someday. I love you baby girl, we all love you-Mommy, Daddy, Kate and Maddie <3
In closing, I pray for healing, peace, strength and comfort over myself and for every woman that has experienced this type of loss. We are not alone. God, thank you for being with us every step of the way. I felt your love and presence with me even when I wanted to think that you weren't there. I sorry I got angry. You embraced me and let me know that everything would be okay. Thank you for understanding, for sending people my way that have carried this heavy load with me. Your word says that Perfect love casts out all fear. So, Lord please pour your perfect love over my heart and wipe away all the fear and worry that I have about a future pregnancy.. In Jesus name, Amen.
P.S--Update 11/28/2011
It's taken me awhile to write all this....And I am finally ready to post it. (It's certainly easier than talking about it.) It's been a little over a week since it all happened. My feelings are still a bit raw, but I am doing much better. Michael is doing really good, so are the girls.
Since I've been getting out of the house more- I run into people.....and the questions have started.....<sigh> I know everyone means well and I honestly don't take much offense. So those of you that read this, I ask you to please bare with me and please, please use your filter.
If your wondering-Although as nervous and scared as this makes me for future pregnancies...we do want to have another baby, someday. Not sure when exactly, but hopefully soon.
Thank you all so much-for praying, listening, loving, and being there for us during this time!
Lots of love- Michele & Michael (and Kate and Maddie)
Monday, October 31, 2011
And then there were 5........or should I say 6 (counting Chloe)
Yes, that's right! We are pregnant! Surprise! haha!
I know most of you already know our big news, but I'm behind on blogging about it. So here it goes..
Michael and I were suprised this go around. We weren't actually "trying" to get pregnant.
Reminds me when of when we found out we were pregnant with Kate. I took 3 tests, then went to Urgent Care and got a blood test before I believed it. Yea, the doctors laughed at me too. :)
I know most of you already know our big news, but I'm behind on blogging about it. So here it goes..
Baby fever started hitting me over the summer, so I became open to the idea. We always said we wanted 3 kids; just didn't realize it was happening sooner than later. :)
Up until this point, it was an overwhelming thought. In November 2010, we added a maltipoo named Chloe to our family. She is like having a third "child." Thankfully, she's nearing the end of the puppy stage! We've all adjusted for the most part. Although, I still wonder at times why I gave in to getting that cute thang.
Back to baby....Michael didn't believe me at first when I told him. We actually both laughed about it and he said, "Go take another test." Although I knew the episodes I was having made sense now that I was officially pregnant, part of me wanted that same reassurance. I'm here to say, obviously, we now have 2 positive pregnancy tests....So funny...like it's our first time to be parents!
When Maddie came along, I knew better and took the tests word for it.
Anywho, I am 13 1/2 weeks along and I'm so thankful that I'm not due in June, again! Looks like our due date is gonna be May 4, 2012. I am hoping my doc will induce me at the end of April. It sounds farther away from June than May. So, we'll see ;)
When I told the girls we were having another baby, it was easier telling them than I thought it'd be! Kate was really excited, and actually kept the secret until we announced it to everyone. Maddie, on the other hand....well, she has her moments! She'll go from kissing my belly to saying "no way, no baby" when we talk about it, or when I mention seeing the baby at the doctor's office. She has actually re-gressed to wanting a pacifier and bottle. (Which is funny, b'c before she refused both as a baby) I think she's wanting to make her mark as being "the only baby around here."
Well, that's really all I have for now. Hopefully by Thanksgiving we'll know if we having a boy or a girl. So exciting! Other than the daily reminder I get from lil' peanut symptons; this pregnancy has gone by fast....if that makes sense. That's probably due to me having 2 other children, a dog and a husband. Not to mention everything else. It's so true, your kids grow way too fast!
Here is our 1st ultrasound and belly picture at 9 weeks:
Friday, September 9, 2011
Our Friday Night- Cooking with Kids!
On the Menu:
Chicken Nuggets French Fries
Green Beans
Chef: Mom
Mini Chef's-Kate and Maddie
Chicken Nuggets
(watch Food Inc's episode about Tyson foods- you won't ever eat a frozen chicken nugget again.....)
1/2 cup of flour, 1 tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp Maplehouse seasoning, 1 1/2 tsp pepper
(these are the spices I like for my chicken..use whatever you like!)
1 cup buttermilk-(I didn't have any so I used milk)
1 pkg Harvestland Brand Chicken Breast Thin-cut up into nuggets
Pan with hot vegetable or canola oil
Cut up the chicken and soak them in buttermilk, or if your like me and you don't have any...use reg. milk
Cover those babies with the flour mixture! Kate and Maddie did great at this!!
Fry until golden brown
Okay, so they made a big mess, but it was fun! :) They really enjoyed helping me cook!
I am very particular when it comes to bacteria and meat! Michael calls it "anal." It's serious stuff tho! You can get really sick from salmonella, or get stapholocous...or whatever it's called! :P
Anyways, I really didn't like the idea of them messing with raw chicken, even though they used tongs, but I decided to chill-out about it! Another point for Mom, letting go! :0)
I did have to stop Maddie at one point from sucking on her fingers though!!
Of course, afterwards we washed our hands and our arms....up way past our elbows. :P
I then cleaned the counter with antibacterial spray, cleaned the dishes, then we all washed our hands, yes, again. Lol! Okay....well I have to admit, I did wipe the counter down again and let it dry before we began the potatoes! Yes I guess I am a little anal, but I'd rather not have food poisioning! :)
All Done!!
It's soooo good!! Now get out your favorite sauces!!!
We like-Ranch, Honey Mustard, Ketchup and Bar-b-que
On to the French Fries: These are pretty self explanatory.
It was soo cool for Katelyn. I make potatoes in most all of it's other forms, but we normally don't make french fries at home, so this was a treat.
She didn't know fries were made from potatoes b'c she is used to only seeing them from
Chick-Fil-A or Restaurants! lol!
To have them at home, and her make them was soo cool to her!
We used 4 large potatoes.
She was a good peeler!!
Maddie lost interest at this point...she decided to dance in the living room
to the background music..all while in her apron! :)
I didn't get a picture of that!
Mommy took over from there and cut these potatoes into french fries!
Fry until golden brown!
Green Beans
Frozen Green Beans- Pop those in the microwave with salt, pepper, bit of garlic and butter
Michael, one of 3 critics, even said it tasted good! Yay!
I love when a meal makes everyone in my family happy!
Now, onto dessert...I'm thinking Cookies, Milk, Then popcorn and a movie with the fam!!
Have a great weekend Everyone!
Friday, September 2, 2011
The Steelers!!! Featuring......Miss Madelyn Burger
This is, Madelyn, aka Maddie! She is our precious, beautiful, sweet, funny, onry 2 year old!
She wanted a costume like Sissy, but they don't come in her size. So Mommy got creative!
She is the Steeler's lil' Mascot! :)
She knows the cheers too!! Her favorite is, "Big G, Little O, Go, Go!" and "Push them back, Steeler attack!"
Cheering with the girls!
Silly Girl!
"shewbe doube do alright!"
Katelyn and Madelyn!
It's Maddie the Mascot! lol!
She was doing her "spirit" and fell down! lol
Running and waving her pom's pom's to show some spirit!
She's so fun and such a joyful child!! Her and her sister, Katelyn are the greatest blessings! Thank you Jesus!
The Steelers!! Featuring.......Katelyn Burger!
Kindergarten Cheer 2011
The Steelers!
(Left to right: Aubree, Kate, Jadyn, & Paige)
(Left to right: Aubree, Kate, Jadyn, & Paige)
My little Poser!
Trouble, Trouble, Trouble!!! Lol!
With their student coach, Sam!
Maddie is their little mascot! :)
Hold that line Steelers, Hold that Line!
GO STEELERS!!!!!!!!
Happy Ruffday to you Chloe!
Paris Poodle 1st Birthday Party!
Michael, walked in from work and said, "I hope you didn't go spend alot of money on that dog's party!" (I promise, he really does love her!) "She owes me lots of money, shoes, not to mention....." I interupt him, "okay, we get the point! It's still her birthday and she's apart of the family, besides I didn't spend a dime!" lol!
Really, I didn't. We used stuff we already had. I found these supplies in our party tub! They were left over from Maddie's 1st birthday! Worked out perfect!
Brooklyn, our niece, made her birthday hat out of cardstock, markers and ribbon!
Isn't she cute?! She is such good natured puppy, and our girls love her. She's a bit hyper, but can also be really lazy. Spoiled rotten, I tell ya!
I do love her too but there are days that I say to myself, "what in the world was I thinking saying yes and getting my girls a dog!" Ahhh....
Her birthday cake was a bowl of pedigree wet food.
We used Cheerios and Reese's Puff cereal (looks like dog food!) as a decoration. It was also a good snack for the kiddos! I had dog bones and beggin bacon strips for Mocha and Chloe to snack on! Mocha also got some in her doggy treat bag! The kiddos got candy in their treat bags! :)
Miss Mocha, her cousin, came over for her party! In this picture above, they are eating doggie bones. :) They got to play outside together and Mocha got her some chew toys!
Below: Picture of Chloe with the Human cake!!
It was milk chocolate cake, with a creme cheese/heavy whipped cream with sugar frosting, caramel and nuts drizzled on top! It was a creation of mine...I was trying to use what we had on hand! :)
(she looks real excited about taking this picture!)
We had a great evening with family!! Thank you to everyone who came! We love you Chloe!! Happy Birthday!!
Chloe has been apart of the family since November of 2010! :)
The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round......
Okay, So I gave in. My nieces live down the street. They walked down to our house to catch the bus with Kate for her first time! Look, she's so happy! Aren't they cute!
She's been begging to ride the bus since Pre-K but up until now I had a great reason why she couldn't. Pre-k didn't bus them! Mama's still learning to let go a bit! She is still only five years old and my firstborn!!-so the days I let her ride the bus-it will be a special treat for her! :D
Chloe greeting her as she got off the bus!
That morning Chloe got up in the bus. It was funny! Luckily she only made it up the steps and Kate got her out!
Yes, she's all hot and sweaty. I'm not sure what's so fun about sitting outside in the heat, waiting after most car riders leave just to ride a bus with no A/C!! Lol! But, she loved it!
It won't be so cool to the ride the bus when she's in Middle School! I'll have to remind her of this when she complains about having to ride it sometimes! ;P
Monday, August 22, 2011
Creative Time!!!
Flower Balls!!!
These are hanging from Kate's ceiling
(Azalea Blooms)
I made these a few years ago when Kate graduated from her baby room to a big girl room!
They are super easy, fun, and makes a great bedroom accessory!!
I am making a new set of three. Pictured above is the Large Flower Ball. 6 in styrofoam with Large bloom peonie flowers.
It's pretty big, this is my oldest, Katelyn. Gives you an idea of the size
Supplies
1 continous roll or 2-3 yards of grosgrain ribbon (depending on your length preference)
3 nails, tacks or screw
3 screws-to screw the ribbon into the top of the ball
hot glue gun/hot glue sticks
scissors
hammer or screwdriver
pliers
hammer or screwdriver
pliers
3 different size styrofoam balls- 6 in ball, 5 in ball, 4 in ball.
2 bushes of large blooms for each ball. I used peonies. For a total of 6
Note: you can use smaller blooms and different flowers. Use your judgement on how many bushes you'll need. You could also do them all large, all small, or all medium....whatever you like.
Tip-I get these items at Hobby Lobby! The flower bushes go on sale 50% off- so wait and buy them then! I suggest using smaller to medium blooms in Daisies, Roses, Azaleas, or peonies.
2 bushes of large blooms for each ball. I used peonies. For a total of 6
Note: you can use smaller blooms and different flowers. Use your judgement on how many bushes you'll need. You could also do them all large, all small, or all medium....whatever you like.
Tip-I get these items at Hobby Lobby! The flower bushes go on sale 50% off- so wait and buy them then! I suggest using smaller to medium blooms in Daisies, Roses, Azaleas, or peonies.
Directions:
1) Take off all flowers, using pliers so you can cut the flower off while leaving part of the stem on it.
2) Do one ball at time. Poke a hole into the ball with the stem, fill the hole with glue and stick the stem back in the hole
3) Repeat this for each ball and Glue the flowers close enough so the styrofoam isn't seen.
4) At the top, screw in the ribbon then put glue around that to keep the screw secure in the styrofoam.
5) Allow time for them to dry
6) Then chose a spot in the room and hang your new flower balls from the ceiling in 3 different heights. 7)Secure the opposite end of the ribbon to the ceiling with either a nail, tack or screw.
2) Do one ball at time. Poke a hole into the ball with the stem, fill the hole with glue and stick the stem back in the hole
3) Repeat this for each ball and Glue the flowers close enough so the styrofoam isn't seen.
4) At the top, screw in the ribbon then put glue around that to keep the screw secure in the styrofoam.
5) Allow time for them to dry
6) Then chose a spot in the room and hang your new flower balls from the ceiling in 3 different heights. 7)Secure the opposite end of the ribbon to the ceiling with either a nail, tack or screw.
All Done!!!
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I painted this for Katelyn's bedroom a few years ago, my inspiration was from wall art that I saw in the PB kids magazine! I believe it was $79...I already had the paint, I just bought the canvas. If I remember correctly it was done for under $15! :)
Tips: Draw your image on the canvas with a pencil first. Then paint! Use colors/theme that coordinates with your childs room! If you are not a good artist, they have all kinds of craft stencils at your local craft stores!
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Personalize a playroom, or bedroom with a canvas wrapped picture of your family/kids!
Last year, we went to the Parade of homes, and one of the staged kids room had a huge picture on canvas positioned above the baby's bed. It was darling! There was another one in the hallway of this same baby when he was a little older. He was wearing a sweater material stripped hat- it looked so, so cute!!
I just loved the idea so I decided to do it in my home as well. When it comes to this, I have connections....my husband works for a label/printing company. :)
I bought canvas's, gave a memory card with the pictures to him, and the company he works for printed and wrapped these pictures onto the canvas! Cool huh!?
I just loved the idea so I decided to do it in my home as well. When it comes to this, I have connections....my husband works for a label/printing company. :)
I bought canvas's, gave a memory card with the pictures to him, and the company he works for printed and wrapped these pictures onto the canvas! Cool huh!?
If your interested let me know and I'll get pricing for you! I suggest a Matte finish instead of Glossy! :)
Kate's Big Day!
Our Little Big Girl on her first day of Kindergarten!!
She is so excited! So much so, I felt bad for wanting to be sad about her starting Kindergarten! No tears from her or I today, just smiles!! Thank you Pre-K for preparing us! What fun adventures she is beginning!!
We really like her teacher and feel they are a very good fit! Thank you Jesus for designing it that way!!
At meet the teacher night we received packets of papers and included in there was a "get to know your student" sheet. I loved that her teacher was interested in getting to know our child! It wasn't just basic info-she wanted to know their strengths, weaknesses, personalities, about their home life, and also any expecations and thoughts our child has about Kindergarten! How thoughtful!! Of course, as a proud Mama I had lots to say about my little girl. I shared with the teacher how she is so eager to learn! She desperately wants to learn how to read and write.... to the point it becomes frustrating for her. We'll find her trying to read her books and our grown up books/bibles. She'll also pull out her notebooks and write a few letters then finish it out the line with squiggly's! I think it's adorable but she'll come tell me in a sad voice, "Mama, I don't know how to write words....just a few then I have to use squiggly's!" I tell her, "those squigglys are your thoughts in your own special writing!" Then I'll ask her to read them to me. Michael and I try to encourgage her. We tell her she's doing a great job but that it takes time and that she'll learn soon enough We'll continue to do our part as parents here at home, of course, but I'm thinking we may have to step it up a bit! :p
It amazes me how she's learning patience at such a young age!
Side thoughts: What a great reminder to us as adults! Good things and growth take time! Learning comes through the journey...the journey is the reward although it may not seem like it at the time. The destination is the icing on the cake! :)
Day 2 of school came and she didn't want me to walk her to her class. Miss Independant! She is also begging to ride the bus! Good grief child, slow down!! I'm still processing you being in all day Kindergarten! I'll eventually let her ride at times...Mama just has to take baby steps! :) It is comforting to know that her cousins down the street ride the same bus, so it will be familiar and comfortable for her.
Her favorite thing about school so far is Computers, and Recess time!! She wasn't a fan of Math time!! Me too Kate! Calculator please!
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Kate's Adventures continue:
Below is a picture of Kate's FOR Cheerleading team in a spirit huddle! GO STEELERS!
Paige, Jadyn, Aubree, Kate and their student coach Sam!
Sam worked very well with these girls! So patient and kind to them! They did such a good job at their 1st practice! They learned 3 cheers! Can't wait for their first game this week! It will be very entertaining, I'm sure!!
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